Going back to blogging?

Have been contemplating about this for a really long time ever since when I first step back into Lasalle. Like back then, writing down all the precious memories allowing me to look back..


There are so many things that I have to consider.. I miss writing this little column that I have.


Let's see and let's wait.. :)

Alcoholic Issue?

5:00am here in Singapore and I am still wide awake...

Cause me to think so much on my bed and unable to sleep. I need sleeping pills?



For a moment i felt that recently i always sleep after i am drunk. I am always so awake when i am sober, like now.. I can't sleep without alcohol. :(

How sad..



What have lasalle done to me? Alcoholic?

Where can i find beer and alcohol now? I would love to be drunk now and fall asleep after that even though it me myself, alone..


Am i sick somewhere? Physically or mentally? Help me out. I do feel that I am crazy.

Lazy & Tired..

Wanted to write a lengthy post today but apparently I'm too tired to do so now.

Just got home from church & honestly speaking, it felt like My energy got sucked away as I'm awake since 7:30am in the morning! Shurks! I need to go and coma now.


Goodnight!
xoxo

La Salle Orientation Day!

As you know, I've been trying to cope with my anxiety yesterday of my orientation and I'm happy to say that I've gone through it. :)


Definitely the journey to school was arduous. I almost poo-ed in the train cos I was that nervous but thankfully for those people who are with me all the way and encouraging me throughout, believing in me. Thank you.



I really grateful with the fact that I have friends from church who are also going to the orientation. It's such a privilege definitely to know them cos they are my saviour of the day to at least lessen my anxiety.



The orientation had nothing much because all we did today was attending a talk and getting to know more of all the various facilities & helps we can get from our school.

Privileged enough, I'm being chosen to be the group leader for the afternoon. I cannot deny I an panicking but I have to pat myself on my back for a job well done! :D


I've tried to keep everyone together as a team and almost everyone bonded together really well, except for the one or two.

The afternoon activities were really fun and useful of course & I really like how much effort the school is making to make all of us feel comfortable with one another from all courses!





Can't wait to get started with school already though because it looks exciting and at the same time, it's time to challenge myself! :)

La Salle Orientation Anxiety

Damn. Tomorrow will be kind of a new starting chapter of my life. I'm nervous but at the same time excited? Okay maybe more of nervous.


Maybe this is how life is exciting?




I really don't know what to expect later and I'm so afraid that my anxiety will act up. Hope or the best but really, anxiety is not a thing that you can expect at any moment cos it will come any moment of the time.


I really envy people who is without anxiety.

Honestly. Anxiety is already a problem and every time I have to (plus 1) worry whether I will have anxiety. Make sense? It's like the anxiety is making me having anxiety. -.-



Yes you didn't know that I had anxiety because I didn't mentioned it before but oh well. I need time right.



Hope for the best tomorrow and I really hope tomorrow I'll have a great time!

The feeling kick in..

Yesterday I just received the resignation letter for me to sign from my manager as my contract is around the corner.

I don't know why we just behaved this manner?



Before I know about the resignation letter, I can't wait to quit & kept complaining about how shitty this job is but I felt even more shit when the resignation letter came to me yesterday.

Thinking of the friends I've made there & being jobless once again. Oh gosh.





I feel so sad right now & I totally have no mood to work anymore but than again, there's still a period of time to the end of my contract..


Maybe I shouldn't even be afraid or worried cos I know that everything WILL be fine.

I'm thankful though to be able to work in this company cos the experience here is definitely crazier than any other places thus I can say I have sufficient amount of experience for another job coming up. :D


Feels so much better after saying out what's inside me. Thanks for reading. :)

What am I thinking...?

Work, work & work. Why do I have to do this to myself, drowning myself in work..



Used to drown myself by clubbing & drinking non-stop thus found out that it's didn't work..




I think I am sick in my mind after that incident. I can't wait to start school lately.. First reason is of course I am finally doing/studying something that I love to do but the second reason is the one that I think I'm sick. I can't wait to dip my head into assignments, projects, study all day and night to get myself occupied all the time..

Honestly, I don't know why am I still waiting. Why do I not show interest in anyone anymore. It've been more than half a year, I'm glad I've proven someone wrong that I don't & I won't date anyone that fast but I seem to not be able to move on..


Maybe you're really what I said, "He'll be the first & my last.. Someone who throughout my life that I loved the most, who I've done so many things with for the first time.. No one could replace his place.".




On the positive side, he is my drive to excel. Wanting to show him and still make him proud like before.

Just so you know, I still have the one letter he wrote to me of him explaining his complicated feelings after we fought.



I know everything should be gone but I just couldn't bare to let it go like how I used to just swing everything of what my other partner gave to me into the bin.

I don't know why, I just couldn't do it.




One thing I'm happy about is that he's living happily now. It seems so to me though, so for that I'm very relief & happy.

Let's see how long more it takes for me to move on? Hopefully I could really soon. Wish me luck! :)

My Christian Life [Reflection]

Alright, today I'm so inspired by one of my church member to write again but there are so many questions in my head of how to start it.


When I was at church today, my church member got out a random cool looking book and another member was reading what she wrote in there. I thought it is just another daily journal or something & i got a little curious and read it.

The content in it was all about God and I wondered why, not like I'm saying she is a unholy person to start off with or that she can't write about God but because it came off to me as just a normal daily journal and i thought the usual would be that she would write about what she did that day and stuff like how we usually write journal/blogs.

To my surprise, she explained to me that the book is actually for her to write down her reflections, encounter and more.. More on christian kind of journal rather then the normal kind of daily reflection journal i suppose.



So to cut everything short. This kept revolving around my mind about how am I going to start as my other members encouraged me to do so & I can even do it through blogging which what I have always been doing and like to do!

Unfortunately I have so many doubts about it. Not that if it benefits me but in terms of whether i should make it so public, should i start out in a new blog, will you guys judge me if i start this new section, should i even write on this controversial blog. So many questions flooding my mind.



I am definitely inspired to write again, want to share with you guys about my life but then I just thought because what I am writing here just don't suit my "christianity reflection" journal.

Should I just start up a new blog & be anonymous? Only people who knows me will know I am the writer. I don't know. Than again, that will not be truthful isn't it? It'll be like a split personality. Ahh.. I don't know. :(

I'm back and even better! :D

First of all, thanks for all the views that keep on coming in every month even though i have not been blogging for like the longest time due to National Service & my time is finally over! :D

I think I need a update of my blog design. It's so.... I don't know how to explain. LOL



I'm happy though with the fact that there are still a handful of you out there are constantly waiting for content from me but I am alway disappointing you guys unintentionally cos due to my screwed up life that I would want to give myself space and time to shake off all the bad vibes!

I've been partying like a LA girl for the past few months though & i can't deny the fact that it feels so good to be a bad ass. Haha!


Of course there are also so many zillion reasons why i ain't blogging but i wouldn't touch on that. (If you know, good for you cos I have to clap for you of how you can get the source. If you don't, continue go searching for answers. LOL.)



I can say the year 2014 is a crazy roller coaster ride for me cos the start of the year is quite shitty but as time goes by reaching the day of my 21st birthday, everything is like a fantasy!

If you haven't follow my Instagram, you should like die because you've missed out one of the most happening guy's life. Yes for real I'm not joking. LOL.


My 21st birthday was a BLAST & I'm not kidding. So many balloons, people, laughter & not forgetting the wide spread of variety of food for everyone to enjoy!

All credits goes to my  parents! Without them, all of these could not have happened and everyone who've attended my birthday party! HAHA!!


Of course being the party animal of a LA girl living inside me, I partied after my birthday party & i got DEAD drunk. LOL.

I cannot explain to you how DEAD I am but yes. DEAD. Nothing else.

In case you're wondering and in the LOST world because you didn't follow me on ANY of my social media, I'm so glad that i met these girls who i call my zoukcats.

They are my zoukcats basically. Self-explanatory right? You're my reader so you shouldn't be so dumb.


They are a awesome group of "LA girl" idiots who club with me like a muthafucka! Yes I'm proud to club like shit. Don't bother judging me. Shut your pie hole up..

The next big thing is of course I enrol myself into the short of "Draping for Fasion" in La Salle College Of Arts & it's so crazy fun okay? I also don't know how to explain the kind of excitement and joy I'm having or even dying to go to school! FIRST TIME I'm behaving like that. I like school, seriously. LOL.

Life just goes so smoothly for me like the roller coaster is going down from a very high point & I'm screaming out loud of excitement. HAHA! Here's me having "Fashion" student feel taking this 'model-like' shot. :D

For this day, I have to say I feel really touched and blessed. I've not known this two bitches for more then half a year but they are really the sweetest girl & best liar on earth. I SWEAR UPON THAT.

On this particular day of my ORD, they tricked me that one of them is dead drunk and made me so worried. That's besides the point. I got out of the class on the dot without finishing my work wanting to know if everything is okay and who knows, both of them have been waiting to give me a surprise outside my class with a cake for my ORD. HOW SWEET?

I almost teared. Thanks for being such much nice.

Sigh.. This picture.. It's a bitter sweet one. I'm happy that I graduated from the short course from draping for fashion but I'm so sad that I won't be able to see most of them so often or even for some, I can't even see them anymore. Ultimately, thanks guys for being such good classmates! Y'all are awesome. T.T

Finally I'm able to talk about today!!!! It's one of the happiest day of my life because I've passed the interview & secured a place for myself in La Salle!

I can't stop saying OH MY GOD for the whole time & I'm so ever ready to me drilled and mould by the lecturers for the 1st foundation program! This will be a crazy intense ride but I will NEVER give up so stay with me guys!


I'll bring you through my life of Fashion so get ready and be steady! HAHA!

LOVE Y'ALL!