What am I thinking...?

Work, work & work. Why do I have to do this to myself, drowning myself in work..



Used to drown myself by clubbing & drinking non-stop thus found out that it's didn't work..




I think I am sick in my mind after that incident. I can't wait to start school lately.. First reason is of course I am finally doing/studying something that I love to do but the second reason is the one that I think I'm sick. I can't wait to dip my head into assignments, projects, study all day and night to get myself occupied all the time..

Honestly, I don't know why am I still waiting. Why do I not show interest in anyone anymore. It've been more than half a year, I'm glad I've proven someone wrong that I don't & I won't date anyone that fast but I seem to not be able to move on..


Maybe you're really what I said, "He'll be the first & my last.. Someone who throughout my life that I loved the most, who I've done so many things with for the first time.. No one could replace his place.".




On the positive side, he is my drive to excel. Wanting to show him and still make him proud like before.

Just so you know, I still have the one letter he wrote to me of him explaining his complicated feelings after we fought.



I know everything should be gone but I just couldn't bare to let it go like how I used to just swing everything of what my other partner gave to me into the bin.

I don't know why, I just couldn't do it.




One thing I'm happy about is that he's living happily now. It seems so to me though, so for that I'm very relief & happy.

Let's see how long more it takes for me to move on? Hopefully I could really soon. Wish me luck! :)

My Christian Life [Reflection]

Alright, today I'm so inspired by one of my church member to write again but there are so many questions in my head of how to start it.


When I was at church today, my church member got out a random cool looking book and another member was reading what she wrote in there. I thought it is just another daily journal or something & i got a little curious and read it.

The content in it was all about God and I wondered why, not like I'm saying she is a unholy person to start off with or that she can't write about God but because it came off to me as just a normal daily journal and i thought the usual would be that she would write about what she did that day and stuff like how we usually write journal/blogs.

To my surprise, she explained to me that the book is actually for her to write down her reflections, encounter and more.. More on christian kind of journal rather then the normal kind of daily reflection journal i suppose.



So to cut everything short. This kept revolving around my mind about how am I going to start as my other members encouraged me to do so & I can even do it through blogging which what I have always been doing and like to do!

Unfortunately I have so many doubts about it. Not that if it benefits me but in terms of whether i should make it so public, should i start out in a new blog, will you guys judge me if i start this new section, should i even write on this controversial blog. So many questions flooding my mind.



I am definitely inspired to write again, want to share with you guys about my life but then I just thought because what I am writing here just don't suit my "christianity reflection" journal.

Should I just start up a new blog & be anonymous? Only people who knows me will know I am the writer. I don't know. Than again, that will not be truthful isn't it? It'll be like a split personality. Ahh.. I don't know. :(

I'm back and even better! :D

First of all, thanks for all the views that keep on coming in every month even though i have not been blogging for like the longest time due to National Service & my time is finally over! :D

I think I need a update of my blog design. It's so.... I don't know how to explain. LOL



I'm happy though with the fact that there are still a handful of you out there are constantly waiting for content from me but I am alway disappointing you guys unintentionally cos due to my screwed up life that I would want to give myself space and time to shake off all the bad vibes!

I've been partying like a LA girl for the past few months though & i can't deny the fact that it feels so good to be a bad ass. Haha!


Of course there are also so many zillion reasons why i ain't blogging but i wouldn't touch on that. (If you know, good for you cos I have to clap for you of how you can get the source. If you don't, continue go searching for answers. LOL.)



I can say the year 2014 is a crazy roller coaster ride for me cos the start of the year is quite shitty but as time goes by reaching the day of my 21st birthday, everything is like a fantasy!

If you haven't follow my Instagram, you should like die because you've missed out one of the most happening guy's life. Yes for real I'm not joking. LOL.


My 21st birthday was a BLAST & I'm not kidding. So many balloons, people, laughter & not forgetting the wide spread of variety of food for everyone to enjoy!

All credits goes to my  parents! Without them, all of these could not have happened and everyone who've attended my birthday party! HAHA!!


Of course being the party animal of a LA girl living inside me, I partied after my birthday party & i got DEAD drunk. LOL.

I cannot explain to you how DEAD I am but yes. DEAD. Nothing else.

In case you're wondering and in the LOST world because you didn't follow me on ANY of my social media, I'm so glad that i met these girls who i call my zoukcats.

They are my zoukcats basically. Self-explanatory right? You're my reader so you shouldn't be so dumb.


They are a awesome group of "LA girl" idiots who club with me like a muthafucka! Yes I'm proud to club like shit. Don't bother judging me. Shut your pie hole up..

The next big thing is of course I enrol myself into the short of "Draping for Fasion" in La Salle College Of Arts & it's so crazy fun okay? I also don't know how to explain the kind of excitement and joy I'm having or even dying to go to school! FIRST TIME I'm behaving like that. I like school, seriously. LOL.

Life just goes so smoothly for me like the roller coaster is going down from a very high point & I'm screaming out loud of excitement. HAHA! Here's me having "Fashion" student feel taking this 'model-like' shot. :D

For this day, I have to say I feel really touched and blessed. I've not known this two bitches for more then half a year but they are really the sweetest girl & best liar on earth. I SWEAR UPON THAT.

On this particular day of my ORD, they tricked me that one of them is dead drunk and made me so worried. That's besides the point. I got out of the class on the dot without finishing my work wanting to know if everything is okay and who knows, both of them have been waiting to give me a surprise outside my class with a cake for my ORD. HOW SWEET?

I almost teared. Thanks for being such much nice.

Sigh.. This picture.. It's a bitter sweet one. I'm happy that I graduated from the short course from draping for fashion but I'm so sad that I won't be able to see most of them so often or even for some, I can't even see them anymore. Ultimately, thanks guys for being such good classmates! Y'all are awesome. T.T

Finally I'm able to talk about today!!!! It's one of the happiest day of my life because I've passed the interview & secured a place for myself in La Salle!

I can't stop saying OH MY GOD for the whole time & I'm so ever ready to me drilled and mould by the lecturers for the 1st foundation program! This will be a crazy intense ride but I will NEVER give up so stay with me guys!


I'll bring you through my life of Fashion so get ready and be steady! HAHA!

LOVE Y'ALL!